Lost aesthetic

I wore this outfit to the doctor, and it was the first time I felt like myself in a long time.


I used to have a strong sense of style. I went thrift shopping all the time with my mom, wore the wildest things, and always felt like myself. I loved bright colors, vintage clothing that was costumey, and belting things at the waist.

I’m not a teenager anymore and none of that stuff feels right to me anymore. This probably happens to a lot of people. Your lifestyle changes and it doesn’t make sense to dress twee, goth, mod, punk, scene or however you identified yourself as a teenager. Some people do, and for some people it works and other people look foolish.

I was stumbling along for about a year or two, growing my hair long, cutting it back short, wearing outfits that were boring and uncool to me, occasionally finding and outfit that I liked but still not really feeling like me. I read Marie Kondo’s book and cleaned my closet right out, although not as astringently as recommended. I read Into Mind and un-fancy and got seriously into minimalist wardrobes and all the different iterations: 5 piece “French” wardrobe, capsuling, 10 x 10, 30 for 30.

But but none of the bloggers styles were that relatable for me. It seems like they all have “minimalist” greyscale wardrobes with plain pieces in them, or just boring ones with multiple blog posts about searching for the perfect striped t-shirt and eventually finding it at Madewell, feeling like everything about this striped tee is perfect, and just knowing they will be satiated forever and can now stop being consumed by daydreams of striped shirts. I still want to have all of my cool vintage pieces, and when I “invest” to buy really interesting pieces characteristic of the designer and style, not pay one million dollars for a white button up.

What did I like about this? I liked the sleekness of the dress, the squareness of the bag, and feeling a little futuristic, a little glamorous and the pink tiles in the bathroom, which really do contribute to the overall feel.


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